I don’t burp the alphabet nor expel gas around other people. I don’t chew tobacco. I don’t chew gum. I don’t chew ice. I chew with my mouth closed. I generally know which fork to use. I know what a ramekin is. I like to cook and love to bake. I mostly keep our kitchen clean, and our toilets, and our floors. I like to iron my own shirts. I like doing laundry, and would do Kelly’s if she let me.
I wear sweater vests because they are warm and I am cold most of the time. I haven’t been outside without wearing a shirt since 1976. I’ve been outside barefoot fewer than 7 times since sixth grade.
I dislike shaving, but dislike facial hair more. I squeeze toothpaste from the bottom, I don’t leave clothes on the bedroom floor, and I always, always, put the toilet seat back down.