Saturday, April 28, 2012

Where Else Can You Take Off Your Shoes – And Your Belt – In Public?

Everyone should travel for the cultural benefits and the emotional satisfaction, but we should reconsider the airport experience. Last time I went to Lambert – St. Louis International Airport, I could tell by looking that most people were making an ordeal out of it rather than enjoying it. If you look at the airport more as an amusement park, it becomes a pleasant beginning to your journey rather than a drudgery.

Like any amusement park, parking can be a challenge. So why not make a game of it? Rather than worrying about how close you can park, why not see how far away you can get? The whole rest of your trip, you can picture your car, alone, hundreds of yards from the others, on the very last row of the most distant lot, and laugh.

Shuttle buses are always fun. As soon as everyone settles in, stand and say, "I suppose you're wondering why I've asked you all here today…" That always makes people smile.

The lines at the airport are the same as your favorite amusement park, except you get to take your shoes off and strangers touch you in intimate places. It's hard to beat that. And the food is just as expensive, and tasty, as at any midway.

The big difference is that instead of riding the latest coaster, that maybe goes 60 mph, tops, and lasts 73 seconds, you get a soft recliner in a ride that tops 600 mph, miles in the air, takes hours, and still manages to bounce you around like anything Six Flags could do.

Parking photo from here, airport line photo from here.


  1. I rarely create responses, however i did some searching and wound
    up here "Where Else Can You Take Off Your Shoes - And Your Belt - In Public?". And I actually do have 2 questions for you if
    you usually do not mind. Is it just me or does it give the impression like some of these remarks come across as if they are coming from brain dead individuals?
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  2. Hello Anonymous. However you ended up here, I'm glad you came. It appears that English may not be your native language, so I will interpret "coming from brain dead individuals" to mean that the ideas are quite lively and humorously applied. You are welcome back any time.


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