Another Problem With America: We Confuse Popular With Good

 

I don’t Google. Partly because Google is so pervasive, taking over most aspects of life online, but mostly because Google is not a verb.

I use a search engine called Swagbucks, which rewards users with Swagbucks (duh!) that can be saved up and used to buy stuff, everything from a computer wallpaper of Cage The Elephant (just 5 Swagbucks) to a new scale for the bathroom (6,795 Swagbucks) or full drum kit, with cymbals (37,825). All I ever buy are $5 Amazon gift cards for 450 Swagbucks.

 

Anyway, one way to earn Swagbucks is by answering the daily poll. One recent poll asked:

Which of these decades had the best music?

The results, I'm sad to say, are in the above chart.

What this means is, either it was opposite day when this survey appeared, or it was Moron Day, and 81 percent of these people have been nominated grand marshal of the parade.

As anyone older than 14 knows, the only truly great decade for music was the 1960s, starting with the Everly Brothers, Cathy’s Clown, through the Beach Boys, Good Vibrations, and Aretha Franklin, Respect, to Creedence Clearwater Revival, Bad Moon Rising.

The last half of the 1950s was good, what with Elvis and Chuck Berry and Ricky Nelson and Roy Orbison and Jerry Lee Lewis and Buddy Holly, et al, but the first half was pretty lame. Patty Page, The Tennessee Waltz? C’mon.

Dozens of songs like Unchained Melody and Stand By Me and Hey Jude have proven that they will still be listened to and appreciated 50 years later. You just can’t say that about Lady Ga Ga and Justin Bieber. Does anyone even remember the Thompson Twins?

Okay, Okay, Some Cupcakes May Be Worth Four Bucks

 

You would never know from looking at her, but my wife, Kelly, is domestic. Undeniably. She loves to cook and knit and sew, she has all the right tools, the exactly right table cloth for every occasion, all that kind of stuff. But her favorite is baking. Using her own recipes or published recipes that she modifies, she produces wonderful, tasty delights.

For example, for a social event at her work tonight, she made eight dozen cupcakes. Only about 10 people are coming, but Kelly couldn’t decide what flavor to make, so she made three: her famous snickerdoodle cupcakes, a modified recipe for lime cupcakes (I am eating one now), and a modified recipe for Nutella cupcakes.

 

As you know, I often rant about high-priced specialty treats, like cupcakes, but her lime cupcakes, sprinkled lightly with salt, are superb. As good as they are, though, they come in far behind these Nutella cupcakes, which are easily worth four dollars. Perfect texture, perfect flavor, perfect taste. Just perfect.

 

 

Why not join me in hoping there are leftovers....

237 Reasons To Make Love

 

Remember on Cheers when Diane wrote a paper on Sam’s romantic history? Looking through it, Sam says, “she even managed to make my love life boring.”

 

Well, that’s what Meston and Buss have done in Why Humans Have Sex. Like all scholarly papers written by and for the so-called intelligentsia, this paper is long and dull, despite the topic. You can read sentences like this only so many times: “sex can be viewed as a fungible resource” or “the most comprehensive existing taxonomy, framed from a theoretical perspective of dispositional sexual motives”…. Yawn!

 

Like most academic research, this paper is flawed because the overwhelming majority of participants were college students, but that is a topic for another time. Of the 706 males and 1,287 females studied, the age range was 16 to 42, but 96 percent of them were between 18 and 22. Only 4 percent were married.

There are 237 reasons listed, and almost all of them are selfish and egocentric.

 

The most common reason was mere stress relief. “I wanted to release tension.” “I was bored.” “I hadn’t has sex in a while.”

The next most common reasons were for physical pleasure, but with a mine not yours attitude. “It feels good.” “It’s exciting and adventurous.” “I just wanted it.”

 

Then comes mere physical attraction. “The person had an attractive face.” “The person had beautiful eyes.” “The person flattered me.”

 

Then there’s simple curiosity. “I was curious about my sexual abilities.” “I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.”

 

Of course, there are reasons that just seem wrong by any standard. “I wanted to make my boyfriend jealous.” “I felt it was my duty.” “It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.” “My friends were having sex and I wanted to fit in.”

 

As a father of seven girls, these disturb me. “The person had taken me to an expensive dinner.” “I wanted to defy my parents.” “I needed another notch in my belt.” “I was competing with someone else to get the person.” “I wanted to impress my friends.” “The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of them.” “I wanted to be popular.”

 

Finally, a heads up for parents: one of the most frequent reasons unmarried males had sex? “[She] wore revealing clothes.”

 

Something to think about the next time your daughter goes clothes shopping.

 

Photo credits: Cheers, Peggy Sue Got Married, The Flinstones.

Bunker/Paulsen: No Worse Than Anyone Else

 

My slogan for the 2008 presidential election was “Anyone But Hillary.” I got my wish there, but I should have been more specific.

I am no fan of our current president, nor was I too pleased with the one before him, or especially the one before that. Like you, I’m tired of all the mudslinging and acrimony in politics. It’s all just posturing, at best, but mostly it’s just a bunch of lies, spread by an all too willing, lazy, uninspired media. Both parties are out of touch with Americans, so as far as our day-to-day lives go, there is little difference between a Democrat or a Republican in the White House.

 

Which is exactly how they and Congress want it. Our politicians, especially at the national level, learned a long time ago that if they can keep common people like us bickering between ourselves over relatively minor issues, they can do as they please. “They keep us doped with religion and sex and TV” is how John Lennon described it. That Chick-Fil-A spectacle is a perfect example. While we fight about that, we forget about or have no energy left for the real issues that are dooming us as a country, like rising unemployment and a multi-trillion-dollar debt.

Which is exactly how they want it. Infighting prevents us from remembering that this is our country, not theirs, and this is our government, not theirs. Petty bickering stops us from uniting, stops us from fighting the bigger issues, together, stops us from being good citizens.

 

Both parties are as guilty as the other, just as corrupt as the other, but we as citizens, we as voters, have to take the blame. Whichever party wins the presidency in November, little will change because both parties do what is best for themselves, not what is best for the country, not what is best for we the people.

In the photo, I’m wearing a 1972 “Archie Bunker For President” t-shirt. I’m old enough to remember Pat Paulsen’s 1968 bid for the presidency on the Smothers Brothers show. As I see it, we wouldn’t be any worse off electing them.

 

 

 

The Bunker image came from here, and the Paulsen from here. You might check Youtube for some Paulsen videos. The guy was funny.

 

If This Is Being A Sheep, I Say “Baaaaa, Baby, Baaaaa”

 

 

I came across this photo essay on MSN, and some of the pictures made me smile, and some of them made me wonder if I’m as nice to others as I could be, inside and outside of my home and my small circle of friends.

 

The problem is that articles like this make it seem that acts of kindness are rare, newsworthy, but they are not rare. Most people are thoughtful, and most people do kind things for others  – with no thought of praise or attention – all the time. I mean that literally, all the time.

 

But kindness rarely makes the news. More likely is a story about someone breaking into that vending machine or someone stealing the bike seat, or one about how America is to blame for that poor, shoeless girl’s plight. Unkindness and bad news are what sell in the media, and sadly, the reason misfortune sells is that we keep buying it.

 

And the more we buy it, the more we believe it, which makes it less likely we will act with kindness, thinking “why bother.” The ultimate end of such a path is we will be like lonnie5000, who commented:

 

“There is no such thing as kindness, random or otherwise. It’s all just propaganda meant to spread false hope in a failing society. And the quicker you sheeple realize this the better. Thumbs down if you are a mindless sheep being herded by the corrupt government or you are just a dumb***.”

 

I’m guessing lonnie5000 watches CNN and a subscribes to USA Today. What do you sheeple say?

 

 

What's It Take To Frost Your Pumpkin?

 

The temperature dropped to the mid-30s last night, with frost this morning. That’s a bit unusual for us this early in the year, and you should have heard the whining: “It was so cold.” “I had to turn on the heat.” “I got out my winter clothes.” “I’m freezing.”

 

Right now, it is 56 degrees (F), and people are still complaining. We have a football game later, where the temperature will likely be in the mid-40s by the time we leave. I am laying out clothes with lots of layers, and trying to decide whether to dig out my long johns.

Which seems pretty normal.

But late last January, we had a day where the temperature was in the mid-30s at night and upper 50s in the sunny afternoon. Everyone was so happy. “Oh, it’s so warm out.” “Mom, why can’t I wear shorts to school?” “It’s like spring.” “I wish the pool was open.”

Same temperatures, 180-degree opposite reactions. So what’s the difference?

Liverpool Legends (Another Living Legend That Will Live Long After Lots Of Other Living Legends Have Died)

 

 

Kelly and I have seen the Liverpool Legends three times, and we both agree that their show is excellent. If the Beatles would have had modern concert equipment, this is what they would have sounded like live.

 

What makes them stand out from other Beatles tribute groups is the presence of Louise Harrison, George’s sister. She put the group together, and often sits on stage during intermission answering questions.

 

If you get the chance to see them, either in Branson or as they tour, take it.

 

 

 

That's right - Paul, John, George, Ringo, together again.

* I stole the "Living legends..." line in the title from Eric Idle in The Rutles: All You Need Is Cash.