You Gotta Love A Good Movie, Which Is Why I Don’t Love The Breaking Dawn Saga

 

Last year, the girls dragged me out in the middle of the night for the opening of the new people turning into dogs movie, Breaking Wind. No, wait, that’s not right. Breaking Dawn. Sorry.

This year, Grace saw it with college friends, and Libby was out of town with her dad, so Aubrey and I went to see Dogs Into People, Part 2, just the two of us. This one was a better movie than the Part 1, but that’s like saying shooting yourself in the foot is better than shooting yourself in both feet.

 

When Libby came back, it turned out that she hadn’t seen the movie, like I thought she said she would, so she and Aubrey and I went back to the theater. Only Aubrey was excited about a second viewing. It was fun being with the girls, especially going out for doughnuts after, but I’m glad this is the last of the Twilight movies.

 

 

 

In the past two years, I’ve seen Breaking Dawn 1, Breaking Dawn 2 twice, and The Lorax (read about it here). So I’m not a big movie goer. Perhaps the reason is that the movies just don’t move me like they used to.

 

 

Years ago, I went with a buddy to see one of the Rocky movies, where Stalone fought the Russian. We were the last two people seated, back row, middle. The movie progressed like all the other Rocky movies, and everyone was caught up in the excitement when Rocky began his inevitable comeback. But no one more so than my friend, who, when Rocky finally delivered the telling blow, leaped to his feet, shook his fist at the screen and screamed, “Take that, you Commie fag.”

 

You gotta love a good movie.

Say Trick Or Treat, Say Thank You

 

The first time I took a child out trick or treating on Halloween, Thriller was the top album,  ET was the big movie, and Commodore 64 was the hot, new computer. John Belushi and Grace Kelly were both alive, and the Cardinals had just won the World Series. I’ve done it and loved it every year since, rain or shine, warm or cold, one kid or seven.

 

 

I thought I would miss it last night, not going out with a costumed kiddie, but we had too much fun to notice. I missed the kids, yes, a lot, and I miss the grandkids, but I didn’t miss carrying the toddlers and wheeling them in the stroller and worrying about traffic and standing on the sidewalk and reminding them to say “trick or treat” and “thank you.” I enjoyed all that, and am grateful for all those years of fun, and I miss the kids – did I mention that? - but I didn’t miss it. I watched the parents as they came to our door, and I have to say it is fun from the front, too.

 

 

 

Kelly and I were thrilled watching the wide-eyed little ones walk up, the pirates and soldiers and princesses and witches and super heroes, that one kid dressed up like a police call box, so happy, so excited, so filled with wonder at what was happening.

 

We live in a neighborhood that dresses up for Halloween. People come from all over town, even from nearby towns, to see it all, to be part of it. We usually have around 1,200 goblins come to our door. That may seem like a typo, but it’s not. From 4:30 to 9:30 last night, we gave away 44 pounds of candy. It is common to have 20 or more children lined up on our sidewalk, hour after hour, and the fun doesn’t stop.

 

 

Kelly always puts out a nice spread for the friends who come over before the door-to-door action.

 

She always decorates inside the house, subtle touches of holiday made personal for and to our family. I like that about her.

 

It doesn't look like much, 44 pounds of candy, but it sure was popular. Some people in the neighborhood give out full-sized Snickers bars. We aren't one of those families. But we have tableclothes for every holiday, every occassion. I like that.

 

I decorate the outside of the house, based on a photo Kelly found in one of her many holiday magazines.

 

The calm before the stampede: the Purple English Teacher waiting to pass out the goodies. She said "great costume" and "happy Halloween" so much last night that she woke up hoarse.

 

 

Part of the queue. It is like this at every house, up and down the street. Fun, fun, fun. 

 

One of the parents said that she got married in our house, 26 years ago. We invited her in, with part of her her large family, and she seemed very pleased. We took pictures of her behind our stair rail, just as she stood back in 1986. That was cool.

 

Our windows always get a lot of attention, and a lot of favorable comments, another idea from one of Kelly's holiday magazines. One woman said she has a photo of our house on her Facebook opening page. That seems weird.

Except For The Taste And Texture, I Like Bananas

 

 

No, I’m lying. I don’t like bananas. They are gross and disgusting and offensive to my tastes and senses. But I eat them. I don’t eat them from April through October because banana eaters attract mosquitoes, but I eat them. In fact, I ate one just now, because I believe bananas are good for me. At least I believed that until about 20 minutes ago.

Here’s why I thought bananas were healthy:

• Four times the protein of an apple, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron.
• Energy: Two bananas provide enough for a strenuous 90-minute workout.
• Depression and SAD: Contain tryptophan, a protein that converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier, and limits Seasonal Affective Disorder.
• PMS: Vitamin B6 regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
• Anemia: High in iron to stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood.
• Blood Pressure: High in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure.
• Brain Power: Potassium-packed fruit makes students more alert.
• Constipation: High in fiber to help restore normal bowel action.
• Heartburn: Natural antacid effect for soothing relief.
• Nerves: High in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
• Strokes: Bananas can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40 percent.

 

It turns out this information, this eRumor, available widely online, is unsubstantiated, which means it is mostly wishful thinking, probably written by an enterprising greengrocer somewhere. At least that’s what TruthorFiction says:

TruthOrfiction.com checked with one of the biggest distributors of bananas, the Chiquita Banana Company. A spokesperson told us that bananas are a wholesome, nutritious food and a good source of important vitamins, minerals, and macro nutrients including vitamin C, potassium, vitamin B6, and dietary fiber. He said that although he would like to say that everything in the eRumor is true, he is not able to and added that much of the email is based on assumption.

So you know what that means. No more bananas for me. Yipee!

 

Okay, Okay, Some Cupcakes May Be Worth Four Bucks

 

You would never know from looking at her, but my wife, Kelly, is domestic. Undeniably. She loves to cook and knit and sew, she has all the right tools, the exactly right table cloth for every occasion, all that kind of stuff. But her favorite is baking. Using her own recipes or published recipes that she modifies, she produces wonderful, tasty delights.

For example, for a social event at her work tonight, she made eight dozen cupcakes. Only about 10 people are coming, but Kelly couldn’t decide what flavor to make, so she made three: her famous snickerdoodle cupcakes, a modified recipe for lime cupcakes (I am eating one now), and a modified recipe for Nutella cupcakes.

 

As you know, I often rant about high-priced specialty treats, like cupcakes, but her lime cupcakes, sprinkled lightly with salt, are superb. As good as they are, though, they come in far behind these Nutella cupcakes, which are easily worth four dollars. Perfect texture, perfect flavor, perfect taste. Just perfect.

 

 

Why not join me in hoping there are leftovers....

How Much Would You Pay To Not Eat Raisins?

I paid a buck twenty-five to not eat raisins.

My granola cereal has raisins, which I eat reluctantly. I like raisins okay, our primary source of boron, as you know. I just don’t like them in food, especially cookies. And cake. And cinnamon bread.

I found a brand of granola cereal that doesn’t have raisins, but it costs $1.25 more, which, if you know me, is a huge difference. So I did some quick math and determined that the cost per ounce – only about  7 cents – was a small price to pay not to have to pick raisins out of my bowl.

Wouldn’t you have done the same in this situation?